Teenagers who feel close to their parents may make safer choices as adults, study finds: Why staying connected to your child matters more than parents thinkThe teenage years are often when children seem to pull away from their parents. But research suggests that staying emotionally connected during this phase may matter more than parents realise, influencing health, mental wellbeing and even risk-taking behaviour years later.
28 Jul 2026 | 16:25
Do you think social media has changed the parent-teen relationship?
There is a stage in parenting when a child who once wanted to tell you everything suddenly starts answering in one-word sentences. “Fine.” “Nothing.” “Don’t know.”For many parents, adolescence can feel like the beginning of a long emotional distance. Children want more privacy, spend more time with friends and may appear less interested in family conversations. It is also the age when parents become increasingly worried about peer pressure, experimentation, substance use and other risky behaviours.But new research says a teenager becoming more independent does not mean the parent-child relationship has stopped mattering.A study published in JAMA Network Open found that adolescents who reported warmer, more communicative and more satisfying relationships with their parents were more likely to have favourable health outcomes as young adults.
Research followed more than 15,000 adolescents
The research followed more than 15,000 adolescents from their teenage years into adulthood, providing a rare look at how the parent-teen relationship may be connected with outcomes much later in life. The teenagers were followed into their 20s and early 30s.The participants were aged 12 to 17 when the initial data was collected in 1994-95. They were followed up more than a decade later, when they were between 24 and 32 years old. Of the eligible participants, 15,701 completed the later assessment.
A close relationship was linked with lower substance-use risks
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One of the most striking findings concerned substance use. Young adults who had reported greater warmth, more time together and greater satisfaction in their relationship with their parents during adolescence had lower levels of nicotine dependence and symptoms associated with alcohol, cannabis and other drug abuse.For example, higher maternal warmth was associated with lower odds of nicotine dependence and substance-use symptoms. Similar patterns were found for paternal warmth. More time spent together and greater satisfaction with the parent-child relationship were also associated with lower substance-use risks.That does not mean that a close relationship guarantees that a teenager will never experiment with substances or make an unsafe decision. This was an observational study but the association is important.It suggests that the emotional relationship parents build with their children during adolescence may be one part of a much bigger protective environment.
It wasn’t only about avoiding risky behaviour
Teenagers who reported stronger relationships with their mothers and fathers were also more likely to report better general health, greater optimism and better romantic relationship quality as young adults. They also reported lower levels of stress and depressive symptoms.
What does “being close” actually mean?
This is perhaps the most useful part of the study for parents. Closeness does not necessarily mean having long emotional conversations every night.A father who takes his teenager out for a drive and listens without immediately giving advice is building connection. A mother who asks about a difficult friendship without turning the conversation into an interrogation is building connection. A parent who can discuss a bad decision without immediately saying, “I told you so,” is building connection.
The goal isn’t to become your teenager’s best friend
There is an important distinction parents should make here. A close parent-child relationship does not mean removing boundaries. Teenagers still need rules, expectations and consequences. In fact, the study also looked at academic expectations and, in the case of mothers, a form of discipline in which parents discussed why a behaviour was wrong and helped the child understand it.A teenager can hear “No, you cannot go to that party” and still feel that their parents are on their side. That difference matters.
Don’t make every conversation about performance
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For many teenagers, conversations at home can gradually become dominated by marks, entrance exams, attendance, screen time and future careers. Parents may believe they are showing interest. But if every conversation begins with “How much did you score?” or “Did you finish your homework?”, the child can start associating parental attention with performance.The study’s findings offer another way to think about connection. Parents should create some conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with achievement.
- Ask what song they are listening to.
Watch something they like.
Go for a walk.
Cook together.
Sit in the car and talk.
Or simply let them tell a story without turning it into a lesson.
Try the “no advice first” rule
One practical habit parents can borrow from the spirit of this research is a simple rule: When your teenager tells you about a problem, don’t give advice immediately.First ask: “What happened?” “How did that make you feel?” “What do you think you should do?” Only then, if they want it, offer your perspective. This can be especially useful when the subject is something parents find scary whether it’s a party, drinking, vaping, relationships, peer pressure or an argument with a friend.If every disclosure is met with anger, punishment or a lecture, teenagers may simply stop disclosing.
Make your home a place where mistakes can be discussed
One of the most useful parenting goals during adolescence is not to prevent every mistake. It is to make sure that when a mistake happens, the teenager knows where to turn. A child who believes, “If I tell my parents, I’ll be in huge trouble,” may hide a problem. A teenager who thinks, “My parents may be angry, but they will help me figure this out,” is more likely to seek help.Teenagers are supposed to become independent. Wanting privacy, developing friendships outside the family and questioning parents are all part of growing up. The answer is not to hold on tighter. It is to stay available while giving them room to grow.
